Yesterday I was coaching one of my mastermind students. She had not completed her tasks for the week, and when I asked what had gotten in the way, she relayed feeling tired and unenthusiastic about the goals she had set for herself. A few more questions narrowed down that an inauthentic friendship was weighing her down and zapping her energy.
Goals, particularly lofty ones, require energy, and when we are not vibrating at our top frequency, the amount of power required to complete a task can be too much. Inauthenticity zaps our energy. It occupies our thoughts and slowly fills extra bandwidth. In order to be energetically available for the things to which we want to commit, our inner watchdog must stay on the lookout for inauthenticity.
We may be dulled to these small inauthenticities and not realize how and when they steal our fire. Inauthenticity requires constant energy to maintain the appearance of authenticity. We must constantly justify it and stockpile energy to fuel that justification. More inauthenticities require more fire and more fuel. Fewer fires are easier to maintain.
Tending too many fires will misalign your soul. If you think about yourself as a line of energy, each little story pulls away from that line. Those snags will slowly unravel your core and pull you away from your true goals.
So how can you be more authentic? How can you tell if your energy is being drained by inauthentic stories and circumstances? Look for where you get stuck. Look for repeat stories or concepts that you keep mentally running through. Watch for rumination or consistent attention to that which can not be changed. Find where you are holding back or withdrawing. And then transform it.
There is a cost to these inauthenticities but there is also a benefit.
Perhaps you can look into what is fueling this inauthentic behavior. Is it rejection or shame? Or is there some underlying trigger that locks you into this scenario? It’s also important to consider what’s in it for you. There is a cost to these inauthenticities but there is also a benefit. For instance, once you clear away the misaligned stories, you must claim responsibility for the creation of your life. If you don’t like the direction of certain aspects of your life, you can find comfort in understanding them. If you pull yourself back into alignment, you will feel the discomfort of healthy change. We are creatures of habit, so change—even for the better—can be uncomfortable.
Then there is the matter of brain function. The brain likes repetition. We must be aware of ourselves in order to understand our behaviors and create new ones.
I like to use the term zoom out because when we are so enveloped in our stories and actions, we may have difficulty seeing ourselves. We must zoom out to create emotional buffer zones and gain true awareness of ourselves.
Bottom line, living requires energy, and inauthentic experiences tear your energy in exhausting and unproductive directions.
To learn more about how to become more deeply aligned with your authenticity, check out our life mastery program Authentic Self here.