The Authentic Self vs. False Self

Guest post by Ora Nadrich

In my new book, Live True: A Mindfulness Guide to Authenticity, I say that it is the present moment that matters the most, and if we value the moments of our lives, we will want to make the most of each one, and not let any moment go by without having lived it as truthfully and authentically as we can.

But what does it mean to live “authentically”?  The definition of authentic is “genuine” and “real,” or in other words, the combination of all your true qualities and characteristics. However, I like to describe authentic as “living your truth in the present moment.”  I know, it’s easy to want to hide or conceal certain aspects of ourselves we may not love, but once we start to hide our realness and who we really are, it can slip away from us to the point that we are living dishonestly to our true nature, and why would we want to do that?

The definition of authentic is “genuine” and “real,” or in other words, the combination of all your true qualities and characteristics.

Ora Nadrich

Fear, insecurity, doubt. Those are some of the reasons that strip us of our true nature. And before we know it, we are not living our truth in the present moment, or any of the moments of our life if we are not aware of the traps of our mind, which are the lies we tell ourselves that keep us stuck in self-deception.

Mindfulness, which is living in the present moment with total awareness, keeps us honest, and true to who we are. It reminds us when we slip out of the moment of authenticity, and try and hide or replace it with a false belief of ourselves. But, we don’t always practice the valuable skill of Mindfulness, or remember how important it is to stay present and authentic, and to our detriment, we choose to present a false image or persona of ourselves to others, and this can be one of the greatest causes of our pain and suffering.  

As I say in Live True, it’s a lot harder to be who we’re not than who we are, and takes a tremendous amount of work to keep the inauthentic, or false-self going. This means that you have to keep presenting yourself as who you’re not, and after a while it can be exhausting; both mentally and physically to keep the lie alive.  

If you feel that you are living inauthentically, and reluctant or afraid to show who you really are to others, ask yourself what is your greatest fear about revealing your most authentic self.  Is it that you’re afraid you won’t be liked or loved, or judged for not being enough as your true self? And, if that’s the case, ask yourself if you want people to like and accept you for who you are, or would you prefer them liking you for someone that you’re not?

Living authentically means you’re being honest with yourself, and your honesty is what you have to live with. Even if you take a step back from it out of fear or insecurity, or for whatever reasons, know that you can step right back into the flow of your deepest “authentic truth,” which is the greatest honesty to realize.

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Ora Nadrich is founder and president of the Institute for Transformational Thinking and author of Live True: A Mindfulness Guide to Authenticity. A certified life coach and mindfulness teacher, she specializes in transformational thinking, self-discovery, and mentoring new coaches as they develop their careers. Contact her at theiftt.org andOraNadrich.com.

This article first appeared in PsychCentral The Authentic Self vs. False Self

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Vanessa Lambert