Building The Home Of Our Selves

As we make our way into the new year we start to see the old patterns start to reemerge. But wait! I thought this year was going to be different. You promised yourself that you didn’t want this year to be a repeat of the same stories, habits and patterns that got in the way last year. You really thought this year was the year. Alas, you are already tired. You are already worn down. You are already forgetting those promises you made to yourself in that moment of clarity and commitment. What were they again? Who were you going to become this year? What was it you wanted to be committed to? Where did that energy to move ahead full force go?

It’s not that you don’t want to make the changes. Your deepest self does. It’s just that you haven’t been able to create the new habits that support that way of being. Most of us are trying to build our dream mansion on top of an not yet excavated foundation. We haven’t even broke ground and we are trying to select tile for the bathrooms. Like building our dream home, the foundation has to be created first. It’s not necessarily the most glamorous part. It’s not the part that we get to post on our Pinterest boards or dream about taking bubble baths in. In fact it’s likely the time you can barely tell if anything is happening. But without this necessary formation our house of dreams becomes a house of cards. And if we take the time to create the infrastructure just when we thought nothing was happening a framework begins to emerge. 

So how do you know if you’re framing a house on top of unstable ground? How do we create the metaphorical and literal foundation to build our “home” on?

Step by step. Methodically and with process. There is deliberate, methodical self discovery and then action. Just like building a home we wouldn’t purchase wall paper before the walls exist. Yes the vision of what we may want the room to look like exists but when building your home you would logically know first things first. It’s the same with our minds and the creation of our lives.

Self excavation is just as necessary before building our dream lives. Self awareness and shoring up our thoughts, energy and relationships to the world around us creates the literal foundation for the supporting habits to take shape and stick. So what is your self excavation process? What is the system you use to create the foundational awareness you seek? 

This can be done so many ways but the way in which you should do it is the way in which you will do it. Does that look like starting a mediation practiceto get quiet everyday and allow things to surface? Is it a structured self help program that gives you step by step guidance? Is it an immersive in person retreat or Landmark,Tony Robbinsor Plant Medicine style breakthrough experience? If you don’t know then this will be the very first part of your discovery process. Finding your system, your foundation. If the first path doesn’t work, resonate or yield the results you are looking for then you try again. You keep being present to what is there and you keep taking steps toward overcoming your own resistance to creating your authentic life. Eventually the energy of your commitment will create that first breakthrough and from there, well my friend, congratulations…all things are possible. Finally your house will feel like home and you will love it because you built it yourself.

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Vanessa Lambert

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